Your Debut: an interview series with working moms

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Introducing…

Name: Gabriela Gonzalez 

Company and position: Director, Government Affairs at TELUS  

Age of kids:  1 year & 6 years

Gabriela Gonzalez, Director of Government Relations at TELUS

Q: At The Debut Co, we acknowledge the importance of the Motherhood Identity Shift. What has this evolution looked like for you?   

A: I had my second child less than a year ago so I feel like I’m going through Motherhood Identity Shift 2.0. Oftentimes, when you’re in the thick of motherhood and working, it’s hard to see how you’re evolving. 

One thing I’ve learned is that with two kids it’s impossible to maintain the same standards that you had before kids. I’ve realized I don’t have to lower my standards, but shift to a mentality that ‘done is better than perfect’. Motherhood has helped me let go of my perfectionist tendencies. Right now, I’m making the most impact I can with the time I have. Knowing that this is a season, albeit a challenging one, helps me prioritize and stay focused. 

Q: What challenges have you faced as a working mother and how have you overcome them?  

A: There is a lot of juggling of various responsibilities – I’m a planner by nature and if something is not in the calendar, then it’s not happening. 

I’m lucky to have incredible flexibility at work and an incredible employer. This strong foundation has set me up for success and I feel like this makes things more manageable. 

Q: What’s practical advice can you share with other working moms to avoid burnout, and to balance work and home life?  

A: I’ve had to accept that this phase of life (raising young kids + climbing the corporate ladder + being on nonprofit boards) is HARD. I’m trying to give myself permission to slow down when my schedule allows me so I can avoid burning out. 

My weekends used to be jammed packed with activities but now that I’m back at work, I’m looking forward to slower weekends when we are not rushing from one thing to the next. Being able to slow down, catch my breath and let the kids have free play. Trying to live by the wise words of “Grace, not perfection”. 

Outsource and simplify: whenever possible, hire help (ex. cleaners, order grocery delivery, meal kits). I recognize I am in a privileged position to be able to pay for external help and not everyone has the same access. 

Laugh a lot. Be light hearted and try to roll with the punches! 

Testimonial 

“The Debut Co. program provided the support I needed during the transformational period of being on parental leave and preparing to return to work. It helped me soften some of my perfectionist traits, while empowering me to feel like the leader that I am at work.  

The program also helped me confidently navigate discussions at work when I was offered a promotion while on parental leave.   

I’m glad I took part in the program and highly recommend it to other career-driven moms. Erin and Saphina are excellent coaches and I loved working with them.”

Your Debut: an interview series with working moms

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Introducing…

Name: Julia Rose

Company and position: Canadian Tire Corp., Brand Communications Manager

Age of child: 10 months (1 year on August 25, 2024)

Q: At The Debut Co, we acknowledge the importance of the Motherhood Identity Shift – how we change as we move from working woman, to mother and then working mother. What has this evolution looked like for you?

A: Looking back to the time before I became a mother, it’s easy to see just how blissfully unaware I was of the demands and invisible labour that comes with motherhood. I knew becoming a mom would come with a shift — a new skill set to learn, growing list of things to do and competing priorities but I didn’t fully comprehend the what and the how it would change my life personally and professionally.  

      I see life differently now. My priorities have shifted. My values have evolved. I have new boundaries. Because of this experience, I not only feel confident that I will bring my best self to my upcoming role as working mother but that I will also, and should, celebrate all the ways motherhood has changed me for the better.  

        Q: What challenges have you faced as a new mom and how have you overcome them?   

        A: Throughout my life, whether personally or professionally, I’ve always been a confident person, but not necessarily a patient one. I’ve had drive, a clear vision of what I wanted, and the confidence to get it all done.  

          When I became a mother, that all changed. I felt unsure of myself. I didn’t have that natural intuition or infectiously positive outlook that I kept seeing on my social feeds. I didn’t recognize myself and that was really hard for me to say out loud and accept. I didn’t want to come across as ungrateful or unhappy. 

          I had to take a moment to grieve my old life while simultaneously learning to be kind and patient with myself in this new life. And I won’t lie, that was and still is hard. But now I have the tools to question the thoughts in my mind and be more aware of “is this fact or is this fiction”. I’m able to cultivate a headspace of progress over perfection in all areas of my life now. 

          Q: What practical advice can you share with other moms to avoid burnout, and to balance work and home life?   

          A: I’ve always believed in the power of community, but this could not be more true when it comes to motherhood. I’ve learned that it feels like a lot for one person, because it was never meant to be for one person. It was meant for a village. Build your village however you can and communicate, communicate, communicate when and how you need support. 

          It’s also been said countless times, but comparison truly is the thief of joy. When you stop scrolling and endlessly researching, you’re able to soak in the everyday magic and take a breather to remind yourself that you are enough and you are doing enough.  

          Connect with us to learn more about our Working Parents Workshop Series. 

          Celebrating ‘good enough’ this summer

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          Juggling kids and work during the summer 

          As summer approaches, we envision days filled with relaxation, adventure, and quality family time. It’s a welcome break from the everyday routines that define the rest of the year.

          But for many parents, summer break can feel more like a frantic juggling act. We’re balancing work responsibilities with having the kids at home or shuttling them to various summer camps with new schedules and different locations each week. 

          The pressure mounts as we navigate societal and family expectations, striving to meet every demand perfectly. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed as we try to manage it all without support. The stress of this juggling act can lead to frustration, feelings of failure, and heavy doses of mom guilt.

          The Perils of Perfectionism

          As Dr. Brené Brown explains in Atlas of the Heart, perfectionism can manifest in various ways, and can lead to comparison and guilt. It can show up in a lot of different ways: from striving for a Pinterest-perfect home to using only organic baby products. In the summer months, we may take on more than we can manage to appear to have it all under control while not asking for help. Fear of judgment, blame and an aversion to criticism can be some of the driving forces behind perfectionist tendencies. 

          This mindset can lead to procrastination, stress, and decreased satisfaction. Despite being a go-to “flaw” in job interviews, perfectionism is no one’s ally.  

          What if it was ‘good enough’?

          Instead of aiming for unattainable perfection, focus on ‘good enough’. Using absolutes like ‘only,’ ‘always,’ and ‘never‘ can set you up for failure. Reflect on why you have these strict rules and see if you can change them. Take some time to address any guilt or stress that comes up.  Bring your awareness to what is working and what you have been able to get done. 

          Consider where you can introduce ‘flexible thinking’ in your approach or expectations. Create a plan for handling sudden changes in schedules or childcare cancellations by discussing with your manager or partner how they can support your schedule where needed. 

          Remember that we are our own worst critic, and you may only get a few things done ‘perfectly’ but you can make things easier on yourself if you practice appreciating your accomplishments. Celebrate the ‘good enough’ and pave the way to a more enjoyable season with your family. 

          Your Debut: an interview series with working moms

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          Ask any mom working outside the home, and she will have a story (or several!) to share. In our work at The Debut Co., we’ve seen the impact of sharing those stories in our own community and want to share them more broadly here with you.

          Welcome to the first in our series where we hear from working moms about their personal journeys and learnings navigating their career and family coming out of our program.

          Introducing…  

          Name: Anna Laird  

          Company and position: Hydrogeologist in the Energy Sector 

          Age of kids: 1 & 3 

          Q: At The Debut Co, we acknowledge the importance of the Motherhood Identity Shift – how we evolve as we take on a new role as working mother. What has this evolution looked like for you?

          A: With my first child, I felt messy and unconventional. It was a different time with the pandemic, and I went on leave right as my company was merging with another major player. I came back to an entirely new job, strictly virtual, and had little confidence and structure to work with. 

          I very much had to learn the hard way. The pressure to perform at work, at home and show up for myself was completely overwhelming and really challenged me in ways I was not anticipating. 

          This experience empowered me to make sure it would be different for my next baby. I am optimistic it will be different this time around, as the circumstances are much different and I have learned so much about myself and what I need, and what I am capable of taking on. 

          Q: What challenges have you faced as a working mother and how have you overcome them?   

          A: Not having any family close by to help has been really challenging. It’s difficult to juggle a young family while trying to grow both parents’ careers. As a result, it has been imperative to share the childbearing and household load. It’s not even all the time, but to understand it will ebb and flow and to have open communication with your partner about expectations has been crucial to avoiding burnout and resentment. 

          Feelings of loneliness, isolation and burnout have been common. My whole identity changed and I had to grieve my old life – not only personally but professionally. It was definitely a time I needed to give myself grace but when that was not my default programming, it took me a long time to let go of these unrealistic standards for myself.  I had to check my expectations and learn to give myself some compassion (which does not come naturally to me – I am a work in progress).  

          I also joined my company’s women’s network and that really turned around my experience at work, not only to feel seen and heard from other working parents, but it also provided an opportunity for me to advocate for women, specifically women in STEM roles, which I feel so deeply passionate about. 

          Q: What practical advice can you share with other working moms to avoid burnout, and to balance work and home life?   

          A: Regular communication about how things are going and evolving for you with your manager, partner and other support networks are essential. It is a constant evolution being a working mom so if your people know how you are doing physically, emotionally and mentally, they can hopefully support you too. Most importantly, checking in with yourself and your internal dialogue to see where you need to shift some priorities and energy.  

          Being a working mother is a massive lesson in prioritization and learning to let go. The to-do list will truly never end, so you need to be intentional about what is most important. The kitchen doesn’t need to be spotless, let the toys stay on the floor, the scrolling time adds up, etc. 

          Outsource what you can – food boxes, cleaner, grocery delivery, etc. It makes a BIG difference. 

          Connect with us to learn more about our Working Parents Workshop Series. 

          Calibrating Motherhood and Work  

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          Why work-life balance is a myth 

          The concept of work-life balance sounds great in theory, but it’s incredibly hard to pull off. We try to divide our time evenly between work, family, friends, and community, but by the end of the week, we’re exhausted and drained. 

          Think about it: If you’re working 40 to 60 hours a week and spending another 40 to 60 hours on family, community, your partner, and so on, you’ll soon realize there just aren’t enough hours in the week to do everything and still have time for yourself. The math doesn’t add up.

          It’s clear that the idea of work-life balance, suggesting that everything is equally important, doesn’t really match the reality of working parents. And if you’re the default parent, chances are you’re also experiencing parental bias.

          Which means, it’s up to you to define your own strategy to avoid overwhelm. So, what’s the alternative? Consider work-life calibration instead. 

          Calibration over equilibrium 

          Calibration involves adapting to life’s changes by staying true to what matters most to you. Each day, you adjust your decisions to fit the shifting demands and limitations of your situation. Essentially, it’s about making your schedule and goals work for you, not the other way around. 

          How can you calibrate effectively? It all starts with your self-identity – a complex blend of beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and past experiences that influence your perception of yourself and the world around you. 

          Calibration: Follow your North Star 

          Your self-perception is your North Star for calibrating effectively. If it doesn’t align with your idea of success, calibration can be difficult. To realign, identify and challenge limiting beliefs. Your thoughts influence your feelings which drive your behaviours and shape outcomes.  

          Calibration involves consistently reaffirming and aligning with your goals and values, making it easier to navigate all your competing priorities. You can’t do it all, but you can do what matters most to you – which is everything!